The one-person bird

By Sonny Stollenmaier

 

I keep African Greys and often get enquiries relating to the species. One of the most common questions I get asked is: “Are African Greys really One-Person-Birds?”.

In other words, is it true that Greys tend to attach themselves to one person to the exclusion of all others? The short answer to this is: Only if you let them!

Greys and so many other parrot species that are commonly kept as pets would naturally be part of a flock. Social interaction within a flock occurs continuously including between individuals that have already got a chosen mate. Different birds from within one social group will ‘bump into each other’ several times a day near watering holes, clay licks, on trees or roosting places. If each individual was to actively shun all others, with exception of its own mate, an intricate social structure as is present in a flock would not work - in fact, flocks would not exist.

There is however, a difference between a natural flock of, say Grey Parrots, and adopted flocks, our own families. Any parrot reared in the presence of its own kind will automatically recognise its own kind and treat it as such. We are not that. In fact, we are so fundamentally different that even babies that are actively being hand reared recognise us as different and often consider us a threat, a predator.

For example, there is a stage in the rearing period of a young Grey when it starts to become aware of its environment, including the person who hand rears it, yet it is not quite sure how to perceive it. Some timid youngsters sometimes huddle in fear when the tall, towering human opens the brooder to remove them for feeding. Over a period of time the youngster, however, learns that there is no threat and that the human can be trusted.

 

 

Understanding Interaction

 

Interaction between individuals is a series of different behaviours. Moving closer to an individual or playing with an individual, for example, are two different behaviours with reasons/causes that ensure these behaviours are repeated or reduced. In other words, a Grey will want to get close to a particular person if being close to them resulted in a pleasurable, positive outcome for the Grey, from the bird’s point of view.

By the same token, not wanting to interact with a certain person is also a behaviour which has a cause. This cause may be that being close to that person resulted in something the bird did not want or quite simply was just not as fun (reinforcing) as being with the other person.

Once we learn to think of interaction and non-interaction as behaviours that can be reinforced or even reduced we are able to modify them.

 

 

What is trust

 

On the surface, trust seems this ambiguous, emotional ‘thing’ that sort of establishes itself over time. However, trust is definable: it is the product of a series of positive experiences between individuals. Trust between you and your parrot is not naturally available. Your parrot will learn to trust you based on past experiences, such as he will learn that you respect his right to choose: If I don’t want to come out of my cage right now I don’t have to; or if I don’t want to be touched you don’t force your hand on me. Respecting these choices provides a positive result for the bird – another step towards building trust.

 

 

Look for the detail

 

The mistake we most often make when interacting with our parrots is not observing their body language and therefore missing out on important information and so prolonging the road to winning their trust.

For example, often when I don’t have time to play with my pet Grey at my desk, one of his favourite places, I ask him to step up and carry him to one of his many ropes. As I hold him up to the rope his grip on my fingers often tightens – a clear sign that he does not want to go onto this rope right now. If I ignored this sign he might lean backwards, possibly lose his balance, start to flap with his wings and my even gently bite in order to comminute his wish. If I was to still ignore him and push further for him to step onto the rope he might well learn to bite even harder.

Outcome: if I don’t want to be on this rope I have to bite Sonny hard to tell him how I feel.

Furthermore my Grey would have also learned to trust me less, as after all, I have not respected or considered his wishes.

This does not mean that I have to compromise my wishes and need to put up with my Grey on the table until he is good and ready to leave. There are alternatives. There may be another rope or perch that he might consider more inviting, or I could simply make the rope that I want him to be on more enticing than the desk with all its interesting goodies from pens to reams of paper. What is engaging and interesting varies of course from bird to bird but for this particular Grey I knew that he couldn’t resist seeds that are glued together in the shape of a ball (Rollinis or Nutriberries, for example). To him these are special because his main diet contains pellets, not seeds. To make it a little more challenging I drop this seed ball into a treat cage and hang it onto the rope. He can merrily spend half an hour tickling the treat out of the cage.

This was just one simple example of what to look for and how to ensure that the trust between bird and owner is maintained without necessarily compromising what you want to achieve.

 

Often when parrots shy away from making contact with a certain family member it is because they either don’t have reason to trust them (there has not been any interaction between the two) or the bird does not trust them because interaction with this person has resulted in unpleasant consequences for the bird in the past.

 

I have had many conversations with parrot owners who despaired because they were certain that they had not done wrong by the bird. And yes, superficially it may seem that they probably haven’t. After all, all they did was reach inside the cage to ask him to step up so that he could come out, or they offered him a treat only to find that he bit their finger hard. However, the sign that the parrot didn’t want the treat right now or that he didn’t want the hand in his cage for step up was there well before the bite. As described above, there would have been at least one, if not more, signals in his body language to communicate his displeasure at what was going on. Not respecting these signals resulted in the bite and underlines the reason not to trust.

 

 

Practical Steps

 

So what can be done to gain the trust of a bird that apparently hates you?

 

As mentioned above, the most important point is to gain the bird’s trust by learning to observe his body language very carefully and to never move beyond the bird’s comfort zone. For example, if you ask the bird to step unto your hand and he tightens his feathers, leans to the side or even backwards, or turns his head to look for an escape route retreat immediately. Pushing any further at this point will be absolutely counter productive. Talk to the bird calmly and if you see any sign of discomfort in his body language simply move your chair a little further away. The essence of these gentle approaches is to communicate to the bird that you observe his wishes and will take active steps to ease any discomfort he may experience.

 

 

Find the reward

 

“I do everything for my bird! I clean his cage, give him his food and I even offer him treats but he doesn’t want to know me. All he wants to do is spend time with my husband and when he’s around my bird will even bite me if I come near.”

This is not an uncommon tale. When I asked the person what she did to treat her bird, to reward him for good behaviour, she said: “Oh, he likes chillies, nuts and…oh, I think cheese is his favourite. But he wants none of these when I give them to him in the presence of my husband.”

It can be difficult to learn to look at the greater picture and to consider events, items and even places as rewards for our birds, but this is exactly what we need to do.

The greatest reward for this bird when the husband is around is to be with him – not food, not a toy, just being with the husband. The relationship between the bird and the woman could improve by teaching her parrot that if he steps onto the woman’s hand she will take him to his favourite person, the reward for stepping up.

Anything that a bird enjoys can be utilised as it provides us with a reward that we can use to reinforce any behaviour we wish to see more of.

Watch your bird closely and pinpoint what he adores, from food items to perching places to people and toys.

 

Be the one to reward him in many ways

Now that you have identified what your parrot likes and dislikes I would suggest that the favoured person takes a step back and allows the person the bird likes the least to reward the bird for any good behaviour and generally takes over the role of treat dispenser.

Reward him for every time he makes an attempt to be closer to you. Even coming to the front of the cage as you approach is good enough reason to reward a bird that normally doesn’t appear to be too keen on you.

Activities can also be rewarding. If your parrot loves being sprayed then be the one to partake in this activity with him. If, on the other, hand there are activities that the bird dislikes but are none the less necessary I would recommend that the favourite person should carry out such tasks.

 

 

Step up

 

On occasion, a bird may be happy for the less favoured family member to be within close proximity but won’t allow to be picked up by them.

Reserving the most favourite food item, which is then only delivered by the

un-favoured one, can be a powerful reinforcer for many birds. Show the bird the favourite treat as you offer your hand for step up. Don’t push too hard, however. Remember to respect his comfort zone. Work in small steps: if the bird moves towards you but is reluctant to actually step up, reward him for taking the first few steps and try again a little while later, when you raise the bar and wait for him to move even closer and eventually onto your hand.

 

 

Out of cage time

 

For many parrots being outside of the cage and being able to exercise is hugely reinforcing. Be the one to provide the much desired freedom. You may find that your bird reacts with disapproval as you reach inside the cage to ask him to step up. Remember to respect the way he feels. Simply shut the cage door again and re-approach a little while later.

Our pet Grey is not very keen on my partner and won’t tolerate him reaching inside the cage. However, he is used to coming out of his cage in the morning (he only sleeps there) and to help me prepare the food for all the Greys. My partner approached again a short while later to get him out (I was not present) but the little Grey was adamant that he would not step up for my partner. After about an hour he realised that he either steps up politely or he simply has stay in the cage and have his breakfast there. From then on he would step up routinely for my partner to hitch a ride out of the cage.

Being put inside the cage, on the other hand, is often something that parrots disapprove of. As discussed in a previous article, this can be remedied by providing treats and favourite toys that are available only inside the cage and generally making the cage a more fun place to be. Until this is achieved, however, I would recommend that the favourite person takes over the task of returning the bird to his cage.

 

 

Warm foods

 

It has often surprised me just how many different kinds of parrots, from wild to tame, from Greys to Cockatoos seem to love warm foods. This could be a fun, exclusive and even nutritious why of breaking the ice.

If your parrot is not already accustomed to the delights of a warm meal make one for him. This could be that special little something shared only by the bird and the least favoured person. If the bird is already used to getting warm food you can reawaken the novelty factor by preparing something he hasn’t had yet.

There is no need to come up with fancy, complicated meals. A little porridge with honey or cinnamon in it could work well, as do warmed sweet corn, vegetable soup (one that is low in salt), pasta shapes (these can be tossed in a little peanut butter), herbal teas (camomile or peppermint, for example), mashed potatoes, poached egg, warm toast with melting peanut butter…the list is endless. Be creative and have fun!

 

 

Trick training

 

I am a great believer in training birds to perform certain tricks. Learning a complex or even simple trick stimulates the mind which in itself is a positively reinforcing event for a creature as intelligent as a parrot.

How to properly train behaviours such as, spreading wings on request or placing a hoop over a wooden peck, is beyond the scope of this article (there are many good books on the market that devote themselves exclusively to this subject). However, I would recommend that readers look into this subject. Teaching a trick or behaviour in small steps requires continuous praise and rewarding. Such practices can often help to strengthen the bond and trust between parrot and trainer.

 

 

Emotions

 

I am quite sure that parrots experience emotions. Some birds can instantly like a person and just as quickly dislike another. This may be anthropomorphic but none the less something that many parrot owners have experienced over and over again.

Of course we will never know in what way parrots experience emotions, nor is it possible to assess how to conquer a parrot’s heart. Emotions are private events which cannot be recorded, but very importantly, the behaviours that are exhibited as a result of these emotions are measurable and therefore subject to possible change. If a parrot is capable of ‘love’ then I suspect that such a form of affection is not simply won over by means of positively reinforcing certain good behaviours on behalf of the less favoured person. However, a person that is shunned can in many cases win the trust and respect of the bird by following some of the ideas I have described above and subsequently enjoy a very fruitful relationship.

It is also worth bearing in mind that pet parrots have often been seen to switch allegiances, sometimes even after years of devotion to one particular person.

 

 

Summary

 

It is not uncommon for a person to buy a parrot only to find that the bird turns its back on them because he simply prefers to spend time with the daughter or the husband or quite plainly anyone other than the one who so dearly wanted the bird in the first place. This can be quite hurtful, considering that this person cares for and invests in this parrot so dearly.

With a little effort and some patience this does not need to be so. Try following some of the steps outlined above and work with your bird several times a day and reward and praise him as often as you possibly can. Be patient – parrot training takes time, as does gaining trust.

Of course, every family and every parrot is different. If you do find yourself in a situation that you find hard to alter you can always seek the advice of a credible parrot behaviourist. There are also internet discussion groups that can help with such matters.

 

 

Copyright © 2004 Sonny Stollenmaier